La La Lola

I was sitting back discussing the previous weekend with Redneck Never Comes to Work Guy, who strangely enough showed up on a Monday, when I realize that my band needs a female lead singer. Redneck was discussing his coming in nearly on time that morning to "get to know" the new girl across the hall. He said she reminded him of the blond haired girl in the group Wilson Phillips. It hit me that we could be huge with a female in the band.

Reality set in when Buckethead CFO called. She has Medicare auditors coming to the hospital and needs me to be there. I don't blame her, after all I prepared her Medicare documents based on the information she sent me. She sent it to me a week before the deadline and sent approximately 25% of what I needed. I used what she sent and just made up the rest. How important is Medicare anyway???

I roll into Bucketheads office around 9:00 am, but she is nowhere to be found. The auditors are there, so I take charge of the situation, which equates to showing them where the bathrooms and snack machines are located. I tell them to wait until Buckethead shows up and she will find them some fine accommodations. In the meantime, I wander the hospital. I was following a loud clacking sound when I heard this beautiful voice singing what I think was the theme to the Addams Family (the clacking is perfectly in time with the snapping of the theme) and then immediately transitioning into the theme from Diff'rent Strokes. I round the corner only to find a disgusting lady with false teeth in her hand. She was applying some sort of cream to them. In the distance, rounding the corner was the only other person around. A young lady with a sexy walk. She had to be the voice I heard. I hurry down to the corner of the hall, but I miss her. I go back to her desk and find the name plate Lola Poindexter. This is fate. Just a day or so ago, Redneck called me Poindexter because I had my checkbook in my shirt pocket, looking similar to a pocket protector only a nerd would wear. I think for a moment about asking the tooth clacker about Lola, but decided I couldn't deal with her.

So I go back to Bucketheads office. It's roughly 10:00 and she has just gotten in. She is placing the auditors in some space to work. I ask her about Lola. She explains that she bills. I immediately decide that no matter what the auditors need, I will turn it into a billing issue.

The auditors begin to ask about square feet. I show them my support and realize that I reported just over 3,000 square feet for the whole hospital. I cuss Buckethead under my breath and decide that I need to visit Lola to see how big her workspace is. As I am walking down the hall, I hear that voice again. This time the song is the theme to Growing Pains. When I first see her I think wow, this is definitely what the band needs. She's quite hot, even though her hair is a mess and she's wearing no makeup. I comment on her great voice. She smiles a fake smile as if she is immune to compliments from strange men. I try some small talk, she is still a little standoffish, so tell her I am looking at her workspace. She gets up so I can see better. I leave hoping to try again later.